Scenes From A Marriage is a 2021, HBO, adaptation of a 1973 book and series by Ingmar Bergman. The modern version is depressing, moving, thought provoking; and might be true. I’ve not yet watched the final episode; but felt compelled to say something because it coincides with my reading Occult Feminism: The Secret History of Women’s Liberation (2021) by Rachel Wilson.
The 1973 Swedish version is said to have sparked an uptick in divorce. Both versions recount a couple’s ten year marriage as it disintegrates. Because of unhappiness and infidelity.
It’s now been over fifty years of the women’s liberation movement – which was supposed to make women freer and happier. That hasn’t happened. Which, in Wilson’s argument, is because women’s, and men’s, nature needs Christianity as anchor to keep them from going crazy. In other words, a happy marriage and family, as well as a functioning society, is dependent upon Christian values and structure.
The modern version of Scenes From A Marriage supports Wilson’s case. Let’s talk about it.
The Modern Version
was written by Hagai Levi, a Jew. Moreover, he has said it’s an attempt to examine some of his own issues regarding religion, family, and values. It’s pretty cliché. The husband is an intellectual, academic, neurotic Jew. The wife and mother is a smart, hot, professional “crazy”, secular, 40 year old, having a mid-life crisis. However, the typical gender stereotypes have been reversed. Dad is the stay-at-home caregiver, and mom is the primary breadwinner. Who subsequently has an affair, and then wants out of the marriage.
The marriage reflects the supposed ideal of the women’s movement. However, mom is visibly unhappy. No matter what!
The acting is stellar. But, there are only two characters. Additionally, the setting and style is different, in that it mostly just takes place inside a room and a house, with nothing but dialogue. Furthermore, there’s little action. Unless you consider drinking action. Nevertheless, I found it gripping. Perhaps because I’ve been there. (Married and divorced three times.)
However, some of plot “twists” I found hard to believe. But then, as Tolstoy said, “… every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Having divorced three times and been on both sides – I’ve never, ever seen a flip flop like what happens here. My experience has been the “burn the boat” model. Once the decision to leave is made, there’s no coming back around. Once love leaves–it’s gone. Notwithstanding the figuring that out is heart wrenching.
Wilson’s Argument
is that we humans need God’s grace, and power, to keep us faithful. Moreover, with that, we will find happiness and contentment in love and marriage. Contained in that structure children can thrive. Furthermore, that then drives a healthy community. Which then drives a healthy society and nation. Wilson believes, that that is the only way.
Rachel’s book traces the history of male and female relationships back through time. It’s a fascinating read and I find it makes sense to me, given what I’ve studied about human history, culture, psychology, and nature. We are not born “good “. We need a lot of work.
In Conclusion
Hagai Levi’s version of Scenes From A Marriage might be depressing; but that’s because it rings true. The husband, after the separation, goes into therapy wherein the therapist suggest he start writing “The Morning Pages”. This is something I did, and have been doing for twenty-eight years. It’s a great practice that induces self awareness and understanding.
Also, some of the conversations between husband and wife I found unrealistic. Indeed, there is a lot of “psychobabble“between the couple. Additionally, the abrupt changes in mood and temperament. But then, who knows? There is a lot of drinking. And soul searching. On the other hand, it’s been decades since I’ve been in a marriage. Maybe, the educated elite, the modern couple do talk this way.
Scenes From A Marriage (2021) begins with the couple being the subjects of a PhD candidate’s research on “successful” marriages. The researcher asks the couple for their preferred pronouns; and then to describe their self identity. That’s revealing.
Scenes From A Marriage might be depressing because it rings true. And bolsters Rachel Wilson’s argument. Which for an atheist (me) is also depressing. For both -five stars.