TALK: A Book Not For Everyone

TALK, is a book not for everyone. My take on Alison Brook Woods’ book Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves (2025) is that it’s an amazing book! The book is essentially equivalent to several years of therapy and psychoanalysis.

Trust me on this. Because I’ve been talking with Psych-girl for over eight years and recognize all the tools and techniques that Brooks teaches in this treatise. Psych-girl is a master at all of these. (In her professional life, anyway.) That said, this book isn’t for everyone. Just as therapy isn’t.

It’s not that Talk is a difficult read. The book is extremely well written. The problem is that thinking about conversation is hard. Moreover, to practice, in everyday life, what Brooks teaches is out of reach for many people. And she seems oblivious to this.

The fact that there is now scientific study of conversation is, well, strange. The book, and indeed, Brooks’ class, is sourced like a psychology textbook – with data from hundreds of academic papers published in psychological and social journals. Research done by doctors of Psychology. This is elite, ivory tower stuff. Many people (most?) just aren’t into that. Furthermore, her class is taught at Harvard Business School. Meaning that her students/subjects are of an elite class of people–super smart and mostly from the top tier of society and the world. In other words, hardly average, everyday people.

Difficult Conversations

Dr. Brooks has great advice about how to approach difficult conversations–those wherein we are in strong disagreement. Where the need to be right is the default position. Which she acknowledges. However, I think she missed a great opportunity by not addressing the Red/Blue divide in this country. One that is ripping families apart. Furthermore, in not tackling the conversational style of President Trump. Perhaps the greatest talker the world has ever had.

Those were two missed opportunities to show how her approach might work. I think this is because of her blind spots to the real world most of us inhabit.

Kindness

Alison’s fourth, and last, maxim for being a better conversationalist is kindness. [T is for topics (come prepared); A is for asking (questions and permission); L is for levity (humor is a great bonding element)].

Yes, showing kindness in conversation is a wonderful tool; but it can have detrimental effects, too. Sometimes, there is need for a conversation to end, quickly. Because time is one of the most valuable resources; and it is finite. Seeding that power is not good. Always being kind is overrated. There is such a thing as time wasted.

Again, this is where Alison seems to be unaware of how people-not-like-her have to engage the world. Which is ironic, because she makes a point of “perspective getting”.

Identity

Dr. Brooks stresses this as important–knowing who you are. And admits we are often unaware of who and why and what makes us. Paradoxically, however, her advice suggests you focus more on understanding the other than yourself. Which can lead you to become an NPC, or Non-Player Character.* To borrow from the gaming world. Hardly a recipe for “being ourself”, or, a “highly nuanced and uniquely valuable” [person].

The Good News

The good news is–if this sounds like something you’d like to try–that is: the art of being yourself–via conversation … the book cost only thirty dollars! As opposed to tens of thousands of dollars for therapy, or $230,000 for an MBA at Harvard.

I did really like this book. There is so much packed in here about how to navigate life’s difficult relationship/social challenges. Dr. Brooks says the objective of the book/class is to instruct people on how to accept the different perspectives of people. Moreover, to accept that “each human is highly nuanced and uniquely valuable.” Furthermore that “Great conversations make life worth living.” I agree.

The appendix is worth the price of the book. It is like a workbook–several series of questions to answer about yourself. My guess it might takes a few years to work through. Again, cheaper than therapy. [So is whiskey 🙂 ]

In Conclusion

In conclusion I’ll say this: TALK is not for everyone. It comes out of Alison Brooks’ personal experience. And that experience is one of extreme power, status, and privilege. She defines power as the ability to control resources. And status as respect and prestige. Additionally, she says “Every social group has its own status hierarchy.” Look and listen to her.

I see a beautiful, white woman, who is super smart and well-spoken, highly educated, who comes from wealth and status. In other words – from the top tier of society. Regardless of any individual personality quirks she may have – she starts at the top. And this is the “group” and environment she plays in.

In conversation she has perfected all the language  – both in words, structure, and physicality to be highly successful. She thinks/believes anyone can do it, too. What she believes is that humans can overcome our instinctual nature and personalities to level the social world. In other words – she believes in The Singularity.

• “NPC” (Non-Player Character) slang describes people perceived as lacking independent thought, acting predictably, or following a “script” like video game background characters. It is often used as a dismissive, Gen Z-driven insult to imply someone is boring, unoriginal, or robotic.

  See the show Pluribus. Or my review here: Pluribus: “The most miserable person on Earth must save the world from happiness.”Smash or Pass?