Bang the Drum

Bang the Drum is my metaphor for doing that which makes me happy.

Last session, as I was leaving, Psych-girl asked, “How can you get closer to banging on the drum all day?” She’s funny that way–using my words to move me in a positive, healthy direction, towards contentment.

That gave me something to think about. Just what does that look like for me? And then, lo! up pops a link on my Google feed: “What each personality type likes to do for fun.” Which was research done by Susan Storm concerning MBTI personality types and fun.

I have consistently, over decades, scored as an ESTJ. Therefore, I looked at her research.

Methodology

was alright, considering it’s based on self reporting. The n was 80,000. However, a majority of the subjects were middle-aged, females. Seventy-four and fifty-seven percent respectively. I presume, also, white and educated. Because that’s the demographic that typically is into personality tests. Nevertheless, it matched well with what I think/believe/feel about myself and what makes me happy.

ESTJ’s like most

• Reading
• Talking to friends
• Listening to or playing music
• Watching movies and TV
• Gardening

Bingo! That is a pretty good summation of activities that float my boat.

[More on the methodology. Storm listed fifteen activities on her questionnaire. However, subjects were free to list others. Additionally, she asked which are their least favorite. This was also pretty accurate.]

Happiness

was also recently studied scientifically. The study was published in the journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Here, the findings are problematic. Turns out one’s happiness is strongly correlated with three of OCEAN’s (big five) personality domains. They are Extroversion, Conscientiousness, and Neuroticism. Persons who are high in extroversion and conscientiousness, and low in neuroticism are mostly happy individuals.

The unhappy

tend to be impulsive, introverted, and worried, anxious, and depressed. Openness and Agreeableness, the other domain categories are non-factors regarding happiness. In other words, being open and creative don’t lead to happiness. Moreover, being nice and pleasant is no bulwark against unhappiness.

Oh my. We’ve been hoodwinked.

Bad Therapy

is a recent book by Abigail Shriver. She has a point. Her thesis is that therapists have been feeding vulnerable clients unhelpful, or erroneous, information that makes them feel better; but not get better.

It gets worse. However, this post isn’t about that. It’s about me “banging the drum.”

Drinking

is lately getting a bad rap. Deserved, for sure, for some in some circumstances. I also just watched (Damn, those algorithms are good.) “Why People Drink” a documentary about the affects, and effects, of alcohol on people. And lo! it featured my former professor and mentor Dr. Harvey Milkman!

Let’s Get into it

shall we? Harvey and me go way back, to 1994 when I returned to college to pursue a degree in Psychology. I took one of his classes, CRAVINGS AND ADDICTIONS, of which a book he’d written, Addictions, was the text. Again, bingo.

He knew, it was apparent to me, what the fuck he was talking about. (Dr. Milkman is quoted in my book Election 2016.) I told him so and we became friends. I took another class from him, ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY. Later (1998), I interned with him in his day program for at risk youth, PROJECT SELF DISCOVERY, when in graduate school.

He was a frequent visitor to my bookstore in Evergreen.

Okay. As it is–Openness and Agreeableness are the two domains I score strongest in. [I’m very high in Openness (90+percentile) and fairly low (35 percentile) in Agreeableness.]

With the three domains that determine happiness? I’m pretty middle-of-the-road. Therefore, is it “up to me”? Because a slight shift in personality traits (being fluid) is possible. With good therapy.

Alcoholism

we can agree on is a bad, or unhealthy, thing/behavior. As pointed out in the documentary–it’s harm is extremely destructive to self and others. More than any other drug.

However, drinking (alone) floats my boat. It brings me great pleasure. And, I’m 74 years old. Granted, it’s an escape for me. As I’ve said, it’s my vacation.

The activities listed above for ESTJ’s that bring pleasure, have passed me by. My eyes are shot–thus reading is gone. As is gardening, due to apartment living and low-grade arthritis. I’ve few friends left that I can talk to–due to my support for Donald Trump. (That’s on them.)

Additionally, I love Road Trips, and hiking and camping in the wilderness. Gone, too, because of my age.

In Conclusion

I’m kind of stuck here with little ability to Bang the Drum. Except listening to music and watching TV. Moreover, I like whiskey, drinking. I like the place it takes me to. The high. And then the fade into oblivion. Does that make sense?

[Or am I rationalizing? Intellectualizing? Is that a shrink question?]

Here’s a review I wrote several years ago of a memoir. It was wrote by a drinker, a middle-aged, educated, white women. I don’t know where she is now. Doesn’t matter to me.

www.goodreads.com/review/show/540550402