The Male Loneliness Epidemic

is a thing that was recently brought to my attention via a YouTube, Breaking Points, podcast. The podcast is the brainstorm of Krystal Ball, long one of my favorite political and cultural commentators. Krystal and I share a birthday, though we’re 33 years apart in age.

She first caught my eye back in 2007 on the run-up to the 2008 presidential election. She had just lost a bid for congress. Because of risqué photos leaked and posted online of her joking around at a Halloween party. However, those photos caught the attention of MSNBC producers – and a star was born.

Krystal Ball on set at Breaking Points


[I’m just wondering … does she practice that look in the mirror?]

Regardless. Breaking Points brought on ShoeOnHead

(another YouTube star) to talk about male loneliness. ShoeOnHead (June Lapine) is 32 years old and a YouTube sensation for over a decade. Herein is a big part of the problem. Let’s get into it.

Male Loneliness

is surmised to be the fact that more men are living without partners (girlfriends or wives) than ever before. As ShoeOnHead says, “The men are not okay.” She says she’s been studying this subject since 2014 (10 years!). Shoe lists four factors as statistical evidence:

  1. Men have no friends.
  2. No girl friends.
  3. Men have no college education. therefore,
  4. No money.

She goes on to offer as explanation that it boils down to economics. Because men think/believe/behave as if their worth is tied to how much money they make. Furthermore, traditionally, they must out earn women. Which men often aren’t doing. Because … . All of this forms a negative feedback loop that leads to male loneliness. Or, “The men are not okay.”

All of which is true for many men. (See my post: Men Without Work.) It’s also a fact that Evolution worked in such a way that males compete and females choose. Shoe mentions this; but not why.


Kate Bolick, professional spinster

in 2011, Kate Bolick came out with an article in The Atlantic detailing why smart, attractive, professional women are abstaining from marriage. Bolick then wrote a book about it, Spinster. 

The gist of Kate’s logic was, “Recent years have seen an explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men’s life prospects. … Increasingly, her [a single women] choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing). … The economy evolves, it’s time to acknowledge the end of ‘traditional’ marriage as society’s highest ideal.”

There we have it in a nutshell – women are choosing not to advance traditional values. And men are left, literally, out in the cold.

No one saw this coming, but it was right before our eyes.

Now, society itself is coming apart.

The Solution

is beyond me. I can draw a line from 1960’s feminism, birth control, no-fault divorce, the Equal Rights Amendment (1923, 1972), the LGBTQ+ movement, etc. and so on, right on up to the current male loneliness epidemic.

However, as Shoe points out – those are good things! We don’t want to go backwards. Moreover, loneliness affects everyone, not just men.

Other Problems

in addition to joblessness, are homelessness, addiction, mental illness, and personality disorders. I discussed all of this in my book, Election 2016. Because I did see it coming, as far ago as the 90’s.

I see only what I want to see

However, because of ego defense mechanisms, or “Sour Grapes“, most educated women won’t read it.

What’s a fellow to do? (That’s a shrink question.)

In Conclusion

It’s not my problem. I’m almost 74 years old and love living alone. I’m not lonely. Could be I have a personality disorder.

How about you? Are you okay? (That’s a shrink question.) Just something to think about.


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