My brother Jack was sweet, gentle, and kind. He was two years older than me–born at the close of summer in 1947 at Bolling Air Field in the District of Columbia. Which is not to say he didn’t get angry – he did. However, I think, that he thought it was a sin to show it.
Jack was a Christian, an evangelical, and that faith was the organizing principle of his life.
The man that is Jack.
Though raised together (we were military brats) and close throughout our formative years – two brothers couldn’t be more different with regard to personality. For instance, take love and romance.
I’d say Jack’s two strongest Love Languages were “Service To Others”, and “Gift Giving”. Which happen to be my weakest. To this day, my closet is filled with clothes he gifted me. For my birthdays and Christmas. I can’t recall ever buying him a single item of clothing. Books, too. He was always giving me books to read. As recent as this Christmas just past, he sent me The Baseball 100, by one of his favorite writers, Joe Pasnanski.
Notwithstanding our shared love of reading, and even though he’d gotten a masters degree in Journalism – I was much more the writer. Jack was, however, a song writer. Mostly he wrote Christian Rock. Additionally, he’d write personal wedding songs, and love songs for his wife and children. He loved playing his guitar at weddings and celebrations. I loved to drink and dance.
Jack never drank much – after his bachelor’s party in 1973. (We got him so drunk on Wild Turkey.) I think that was the last time. He never smoked either. Or cursed. I remember one time we were building something and he got angry and frustrated – maybe hit his thumb with a hammer. “Holy biscuit” he cried out.
Jack wasn’t a builder. I am. I’m not sure he could successfully nail two boards together. A tool, or a machine, in his hands was a dangerous thing. For him.
Love was his thing. Service to others: teaching, coaching, preaching, and of course, playing guitar and signing. These are gentle things. Jack was not aggressive. And never violent.
I know most of his students and players and teammates appreciated his kindness and thoughtfulness. He was a gentle man.
Baseball.
Jack loved the ocean, and of course, his beloved LA Dodgers. He’d get tickets to Dodger/Rocky games and invite me to come. We watched the famous game (June 30, 1996) when the Rockies came from behind and won 16 to 15.
I always rooted for the Dodgers so he’d be happy and in fine spirits. Because, unlike most fans, if his team made a bad play, or lost – he blamed himself. Jack wouldn’t curse or swear, blame the refs or umpires. Only mutter. He was very superstitious, too. He was a fan who actually believed what he wore, said, ate, where he sat – mattered! With regard to the outcome of the game. Jack believed, like Tommy Lasorda, that God was a Dodger fan, or “The Big Dodger in the Sky”.
To me, it was all kind of silly. Jack even laminated his scorecard from that 16/15 game. He always kept score. He was a stat man. Not only baseball stats; but nearly everything. If you ever wrote him a letter, chances are he still has it.
Additionally, he would eat, a lot! And the same thing at every game: Peanuts, Cracker Jacks (of course), and a large Coke. Never Pepsi. Never beer.
Before the game we’d do burgers and fries at some grill. Jack loved burgers. After the game, or at home watching? Pizza. Hawaiian. Did I mention cookies? Homemade, of course.
Love.
However, most of all he loved his wife, Linda. He called her his guardian angel. And his children: Amber, Jennifer, and Galina – who he adopted in 2011.
Me? I had three wives and many other women whom I’ve “loved”.
So yes, Jack was sweet, kind, gentle, and generous. My opposite in many ways. (I think he hated hiking, which was my favorite pastime. But he’d go with me, sometimes.)
And I loved him and will miss him so very much. Rest in peace, Brother. You earned it.
Post Script.
Jack tells his story, in his own words here. He died of complications from his exposure to the COVID-19 virus, December of 2020. We were fortunate to get three additional years of his joy and kindness.
There will be a service Friday, May 31, 2024, at 1 PM at New Hope Church.
880 Castle Valley Blvd. New Castle, Colorado, 81647
All are welcome.
Mark, that was a very thoughtful eulogy for Jack. I am so saddened to know that he didn’t make it through that last surgery! Everything to do with Covid sucks!
I wish I could make it to Jack’s service, but I’ll be going through a knee replacement surgery at that time. I will definitely be thinking of you all.
Take care, my friend. 💕
Karen
Thanks Karen. Good luck with your knee replacement. Getting old sucks, too.
Strange days. We could never have imagined, way back when. Take care of yourself.
Regarding Jack’s song writing–I found a cache of cassette tapes he’d sent me, in a box in a closet. (Yes, I still have a boom box and tape player in my car.) I listened to one from 1982 that he’d recorded and gifted to me for my birthday. It was a work of love and hope. Though never realized, because I never did accept, or convert, to Christianity. The music wasn’t Christian Rock. That would come later. I’d categorize it as Christian Folk.
~ I believe he wrote the songs especially for, and to, me. They are beautiful and hearing them brought a rush of emotion and tears. I never listened to the tapes because I didn’t appreciate the message, or his intention, at the time. Now, their meaning has changed. They remind me of how much he loved me.
As Indiana Jones said in Crystal Skull, we have reached a time when life stops giving us things and starts taking things away. So sorry for your loss, but I know the love he brought into your life will endure and keep him alive in you.
Thanks, Bill. Indiana Jones, who knew? Such a philosopher. Both of us liked his fashion & style. In that my brother and I were alike.
Yes, the legend that is Jack will keep me strong, I’m sure.
Take care
What a wonderful eulogy for Jack. I live too faraway to attend the service, but I’ll think of him for sure!
Thank you, Vanya – that means a lot. It’d be great to actually (IRL) meet you. I spoke with Linda the other day on the phone. We agreed, ‘getting old sucks’. The losses do pile up. And we all run out of time. Jack had such a positive outlook, always. no matter what.
~ I think it was his faith.