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Why We Lie

is a proposition that is intriguing to me. I’m going to look closely at it and try to come up with some answers.

[This post was inspired by my WordPress friend’s post The Shape of Discord.]

A nice string of cutthroats

To begin, understand that I take an evolutionary and Freudian position on human nature and behavior.

Benefits

of lying can be substantial. Some are:

  1. To gain an advantage
  2. To get something (profit)
  3. To protect myself or others
  4. To feel better
  5. To bolster self-esteem
  6. To impress someone
  7. To avoid negative consequences
  8. To avoid humiliation
  9. To avoid conflict
  10. To be nice
  11. To distract or displace
  12. To deflect blame
  13. To hurt someone
LMFT Kati Morton (3/2024)

Those thirteen motivations can be put into categories: pro-social and anti-social; self-serving and other-serving. However, it’s complicated because some of the reasons can serve both the self and the other. Furthermore, it could be argued that all the motivations are pro-social. Because to serve the self is not mutually exclusive to serving another. Moreover, to serving the best interests of the group (= One’s tribe).

Mechanisms

of lying are many, wide ranging, and common. Most involve deception. Some are:

  1. Language / words
  2. Clothes
  3. Fashion
  4. Body image
  5. Possessions
  6. Habitat
  7. Habits
  8. Consumption

The mechanisms and methods all serve a reason, or reasons. Those listed above. In a nutshell – lying serves the preservation of self and others. Albeit at, sometimes, a cost to another or others. Paradoxically, sometimes to a cost to one’s self.

Costs

can be great. Some are:

  1. Loss of freedom (jail / prison)
  2. Loss of life (execution)
  3. Loss of money (means of support)
  4. Loss of job (means of support)
  5. Loss of shelter (means of safety)
  6. Loss of respect (humiliation)
  7. Loss of love (self respect)

Truth

is not necessarily the opposite of a lie. It depends on who decides. In other words – on the context and nuance of the story being told. In who’s service is the tale being told?

This post has now fizzled out. zzz …

“I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.” J. Cash (Not true.)

“Even the president of the United States has to stand naked.” B. Dylan (True, but; not the artist’s real name.)

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” B. Clinton (True? Not True? It depends.)

cheers

 

 

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