Living solo

decision time
looking into the abyss

Living solo (by myself), independently, without having to consult or consider anyone else, an other, is a lifestyle I prefer, now. It wasn’t always that way and is not something I condone over one’s lifespan. In fact (in practice) for the first twenty years of my adult life (age 21 to 41) I was married, albeit to three different women (which might speak more to my proclivity for freedom than incompatibly with an other). I was young and inexperienced regarding the ways of the world, work, and women – so I got married when I fell in love, which was fairly normal back then (in 1971).

Love works

Contrary to conventional wisdom, I think one should marry early in adulthood, maybe even before one finishes formal education (college). Because life is hard, a struggle, and especially raising children, so having a partner you’re in love with is a huge positive – a source of comfort, reward, motivation and incentive – to work hard and not slack off, wander, or succumb to easy remedies such as aggression or addiction. Love is a huge motivator to be a good person and work for the common good – the good of the tribe, which is all about survival. One needs a tribe to survive … because it’s a harsh, cruel, unforgiving planet we live on. Mother Earth as nurturing provider is a myth. Mother Earth is a bitch.

And but so …

After one marries, has children, provides and protects them to adulthood – then one is (should be) FREE to indulge oneself in that which one prefers. … In my case that means living in an environment of my own choosing, with regard to shelter, food, furnishings, art, entertainment, company, etc. and so on; in other words: How I spend the time I have left on the planet? Of course, this scenario presupposes a certain amount of economic security, i.e. that I can pay for that which pleases me. And people are different. So …


Where does one acquire one’s preferences? That’s a good question, yes? Which then leads the curious mind into the abyss of Free Will versus Determinism? AND, is the curious mind a choice?

Clearly, the curious mind has existed throughout the history of mankind. Is it a type? Is it a good thing? Can it be cultivated? What of creativity? What is creativity other than a need to explore that which is unfamiliar, novelty?

To look into the abyss is to question and wonder, what if, what would happen if?

If this intrigues you … check out my website: and order my books – hardback, trade paper, and ebook. They just might set you free.


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